Comments on: UTAH 10

By: Utah

Utah — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 01:31:16 +0000

Thanks Eros and littlestar. I’m back online at last!

By: JDEvolutionist

JDEvolutionist — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 07:15:23 +0000

The story not the choice! Pregnancy is what I was getting at.

By: littlestar

littlestar — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 06:15:57 +0000

Hi Utah – I hope they get your Internet up and going soon! It must be seriously frustrating for you…

You dealt with this week’s challenge so well – again. That was the last thing I was expecting. I thought you’d have to kill off Jacob. This challenge was always going to be the most difficult for you – with only three characters who are all central to the story.

I read this on the way to work on my phone and, when Corey stood up and fearlessly just ran into the corner of the table like that I nearly burst into tears for her. On a crowded train!

I really hope you win this competition, Utah!

By: Eros

Eros — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 00:33:54 +0000

Sorry that should be characters not cariactor. I really don’t like this spell checker of mine…lol

By: Eros

Eros — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 00:31:09 +0000

Utah, I really like that you have managed to keep all your main cariactor alive and still completed the challenge. I like Jodi thought for sure you were going to have Delia kill Jacob right there in the restaurant. I truly feel bad for Corey that she had to take care of the baby in that way. I am pro-choice so I have no problem with her aborting a baby made by rape, it just too bad that she had to take her procreative future into her own hands. I do hope for her sake the baby passes without anymore trouble. It is because of the dangers of “home” abortion that i am pro-choice I feel that there is no reason that both mother and baby should die. I do have a great pain about this subject because even though i am pro-choice, I don’t believe abortion of any type or for any reason is the right way to handle an unwanted child, but it is not my body or my soul so the choice is not mine to make. Now with all that said I can’t wait to see where you take this story next round. It has been very hard for me to make my voting choice the last two rounds and this one is no different. I hope you do well again this round in the vote and that your internet gets fixed, that can be a major pain in the butt. Love, Eros

By: Kaylie Jones

Kaylie Jones — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 20:13:05 +0000

Utah, I am relieved that you aren’t killing off Corey. Since I didn’t know she was pregnant, that seemed to me to be slightly off the prompt… but I accept it! I think this was a very, very strong section from you. Congratulations!

By: Utah

Utah — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 20:06:33 +0000

I’ve stopped by the library for a quick check. I’m desperately hoping my Internet will be up and running again soon; it’s frustrating having such limited access at this point in the contest! They promise it will be taken care of this weekend.

Kaylie, the death of a character in this section was of Corey’s unborn child. The challenge didn’t specify it had to be a main character, or even a born one. I did push the limits this time but I need Corey, Jacob and Delia all alive, at least for now…

Many thanks to everyone for your thoughtful comments. I found Olaf and Coco’s posts to be their strongest yet. It’s hard even for me to pick a favorite I wish all three of us could advance!

By: Chris Chartrand

Chris Chartrand — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 18:26:27 +0000

Excellent submission and clever use of the challenge. Well played.

By: Kaylie Jones

Kaylie Jones — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 17:14:30 +0000

Utah — the prompt was to kill off a character. You aren’t killing off Corey, are you? Not sure if your entry fits the criterion, but I still love it.

By: Jodi Cleghorn

Jodi Cleghorn — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 00:23:03 +0000

I remain a fan of your amazing dream sequences. They are one of my favourite literary devices and to see them so cleverly employed here is a delight. It brings a whole new dimension to your story.

To bring Jacob and Delia so close, but then to also be so far. I thought she was going to embed her knife in him, thrown from where she stood behind the counter.

As for Corey – there’s little chance Jacob is going to seek medical help for her is there. My heart breaks for Delia.