Oct 17, 2009 by

Tess’s Round 8 Challenge: Incorporate betrayal (given by Tony). Word limit: 600

Read TESS 7 here (see “Similar Posts” at the bottom of this post for any earlier entries)

betrayal-yoshi-demotivational-poster1“Favorite things” by John Coltrane was playing as I snuggled up to Ryan and caressed his bare chest. I normally never do that because it gives boys the impression that they’re manly protectors and that we’re frightened little schoolgirls who need comforting or something. I know some girls love it but I can’t stand it when the first thing that a boy does when you lie with him is put his arm out and expect you to just crawl up into his embrace and start purring. Not that they ever do it if you extend your arm for them. I’ve tried that tons of times. One boy did, but it was totally awkward for him. Not that Ryan ever put his arm out. I’m the one who asked if I could lie on him.

I loved how he had a bare chest. Not that I don’t like hairy chests. I totally don’t mind them. I’m just so tired of all the girls that once whined about boys that had even the thinnest coat of fuzz (not that it ever stopped them from giving it up on the first date) and now go on about how boys with hairy chests are the sexiest thing around just because they started watching Mad Men and they’ve gone all girly over Jon Hamm. What a bunch of total sheep we are.

That’s what I loved about Ryan. He wasn’t like other boys that I dated. No nervous awkwardness or any smug I’m Such A Studboy self-consciousness about him. There was something mysteriously alone and self-contained about him.

It’s like he recognized just how hideously lonely our times are even though we’re constantly texting and calling and IMing and tweeting and friending and whatevering. Because, let’s face it, these are all impersonal short lived interactions. So not only are we never connected in any meaningful way but we also no longer have time alone so that we don’t even know who we are anymore. DIY Internet may have turned us all into self absorbed, self promoters, but we’ve lost our selves in the process. It’s totally ironical.

He never pushed his luck like some guys do when they drink a lot. I’m the one who made all the moves and told him to just close his eyes and lean back and enjoy it. But after that I told him I wouldn’t respect myself anymore if I broke my personal principles on waiting for the right one (I didn’t hint that it was him). He just smiled and said, “You’re a quirky girl.” It’s like he *understood* me. Not that I couldn’t still surprise him. I totally caught him off guard when I told him we could do something else instead. He didn’t foresee that coming. I was quirkier than he realized.

Afterwards he was lying and staring at the ceiling, or more like staring at both the ceiling and the wall because his lazy eye had gone unhinged again. Total hotness. I loved it because I’d noticed that the more something was on his mind, the more his eye strayed. It was like the outward expression of his inner turmoil.

I said, “A bj for your thoughts.”

His good eye looked over at me. He said, “I need to tell you something.” He looked away for a second and then looked back. Then, as calmly as if he were stating that he was vegan or a fruitarian or something, he said, “I’m married.”

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  1. ugh, what a bleeding heart i have, and for such reasons i hold marriage on a pedestal of anguish and bliss, a pedestal i won’t ascend for it is occupied still by my father who may as well have been named Ryan for my victim ears that have had to endure the stories of his post-marital conquests.

    “alone and self-contained” every man is ever an island, albeit one with tourists.

    • then you must enjoy wounding your own heart tony because it was YOU who made me do this 😉 ! ok you didnt make me but it was the best way to include betrayal that i could come up with.

      i dont know if you have a girlfriend tony but if you do i wouldn’t go around telling her that you’re a short-term vacation destination and that she’s just another tourist lol!!

      • well, she knows i’m an existentialist who believes the sword has always been hanging over our heads, doomed to die and pass from mortal life, and thus there is no long term here

        • yikes. you don’t sound like the most comforting boyfriend. but you also don’t sound like a delusional coward or a sugarcoating phony. i say she bagged a good catch 😉

  2. the look in Yoshi’s eyes says it all…

  3. He looked down at his coffee. “I’m divorced.” – guess this was the clue! But I hadn’t taken it that way, more a statement of shame, perhaps sorrow. You don’t have Nora’s ability to express passion and the scene you describe lacks something as a result. Not wildly excited about this contribution but you’re the first contributor this time and much will depend on the entries to come as to what the future holds. At the moment it’s still holding my interest but I’m waiting for that extra something that I keep feeling is about to show itself but still remains in the shadows!!
    Not quite sure which direction to take the innuendoes!

    • great memory jd! no, you’re totally right about the “i’m divorced.” i did mean it more as a statement of sorrow but then tony monkeywrenched my plot with the whole betrayal thing (that’s ok bc it was bound to happen sooner or later – i’m not as naive about these things as it may seem!)

      who said i was even *trying* to express “passion” (can anyone say “euphemism”). i know why you like nora’s description. tony said it best in an earlier comment. *fap*fap*fap* 😉 LOL!

      • in my defense, i sent themes for several of the remaining writers and Conz, for whatever reason, choose to use what I had offered for you!

        • True. I’ll share the blame. Tess would have had a challenge-free round if I’d gone with your other offerings. Since you didn’t specify in the email I decided to spread the love around.

  4. You have some wonderful insights here Tess – about the instant presence and disconnection the internet and our mobile technology gives us, as well as the use of his eyes to illustrate the inner turmoil – but I have to agreee with JD.

    This feels like you are just stepping us through your story – getting us from A to B and beyond. It seems rather than getting to know Trisha more we seem to be getting to know her less. Perhaps it’s all the tell and no showing. I’m not quite sure.

    As for the betrayal – it seemed rather obvious. Thought you could have come up with something a little more devious!

    • i sort of agree. i’ve been in a weird mood this weekend and got tired of trisha suddenly so maybe I unconsciously sabotaged her (and in the process I blamed tony who then blamed host who then blamed tony (well sort of) lol!). i probably shouldn’t be admitting this bc it shows a lack of confidence. oh well, screw it. maybe i should have waited and let the writing *simmer* before posting right away. i don’t know. i just wanted to get away from it all so i hit submit.

      still though, some of my favorite passages of all of my writing are in this one like about the internet and the disconnection. so this last post is kind of like a bundle of contradictions for me. you get the good with the bad i guess… :) :(

      • Tess – I just love Ryan’s insane lazy eye! (c:

        (possibly because I kinda have one myself)

        It’s a detail you could have forgotten about once the “eyes” challenge was over and done with, but you didn’t – you kept it in and made it a part of his character.

  5. Joan Begs

    …”What a bunch of total sheep we are.” I love this one Tess, you’ve got a free ride for the next round! I wish to see u there! :)

  6. Jay

    Aw, man! *picks heart up off ground*

    Good stuff. (And awful!)

  7. thks jay! not much to be done except pick it up, dust it off, and stick it back in there :(

    thats totally what it is jodi. a backlash against the metrosexual waxed and shaved look. trisha was just backlashing against the backlash!

  8. I kind of agree with Jodi here on feeling like we’re getting further away from Trisha’s inner world rather than more involved with her. I don’t love this guy so I wonder why she’s so hot for him. The “I’m married” did seem a little obvious.

    • you thought so too kaylie? :(

      maybe trisha did but *i* never trusted ryan either. but trust me *tons* of my girlfriends always have the hots for boys i never love. isn’t that what nice boys finish last means? all along i knew that ryan was going to get the royal sayonara but because of the challenge i had to do it earlier than i meant.

      host, there’s a pending comment from seldom seen to coco. sort of a mean one too. seldom seen, don’t you ever have anything nice to say to anybody? though i s’pose what you said to utah was kinda a compliment. and to olaf. errmm….. never mind lol!

  9. omg jodi I just realized that I wrote *that* 20 times this post!!! so much for listening to your advice from last time!

    ahhh I did it again! from now on I’m using Edit –> Find!

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