Oct 30, 2009 by

Round 9 Challenges (Word limit – 444 words)

1) Incorporate a hoax
2) Incorporate a revelation
3) Incorporate the number four
4) Incorporate Stephen Colbert.

Read NORA 8 here (see “Similar Posts” at the bottom of this post for any earlier entries)

“Sheerly out of civility I shall repeat myself once more. Promptly depart from these premises.”

“Are you f*****g kidding me?”

Richard calmly removed his bowtie and shirt. He folded them in a neat stack on the lawn and raised his fists. Bronze muscles rippled beneath his ironed undershirt. “I gave ample warning, lad.”

The barbarian charged, hollering primitively, but Richard maintained his poise and coolly let fly a jab to his face. The brute grunted, surprised, and went down. He stood, rubbing his stubbly jaw, and charged again. Richard flattened him.

Catherine watched transfixed, her squirming thighs tightly pressed. When the truck screeched off and Richard entered, gleaming with sweat, she rushed to him.

“Richard!” she cried, clutching his brawny arm. “Are you injured?”

“Injured!” Arthur harumphed. “Richard is unbeatable in intellectual or physical confrontations. Last week Stephen Colbert, who isn’t exactly any old dimwit, had him on as a guest. Richard left the poor fellow gasping for mercy by the interview’s end.”

“Richard, you’re absolutely drenched!” Catherine peeled his undershirt off his gleaming torso and began wiping the sweat from his hard, contoured chest with a cloth napkin. Richard was breathing heavily but confidently, like a prizefighter about to claim his title.

Arthur walked up and patted Richard. “Marvelous show!” Arthur’s hand lingered on his glistening back. “Why one shoe, old chap?”

“Just my way to keep foot fungus at bay. But let’s keep that strictly under-the-table.”

Catherine’s temperature was rising, and not just from Richard’s stiff projecting nipples. Her husband was now openly caressing Richard’s back. What audacity!

“Come with me,” she said, herding Richard away. “I’m positive you’d welcome a shower.”

Richard grasped her shoulders, staring deeply into her eyes. “If my scent isn’t too disagreeable, I’ll remain unshowered.”

“Perhaps it’s time for dessert,” Arthur whispered behind her. His hands began massaging her back.

“I most heartily concur,” Richard said. Catherine closed her eyes. Her head sought Richard’s chiseled chest while her outflaring hips pressed back into her husband’s loins. Arthur’s hands closed unexpectedly upon her colossal rump while Richard’s dropped to her aching breasts. She exhaled slowly as the four hands engaged her.

Arthur suddenly leaned forward and drew one hand away. There was the sound of unzipping and rustling clothes.

She opened her eyes dreamily and looked down. Jutting forth from Richard’s fly on her husband’s palm, as if presented on a golden platter, was the longest, thickest, straightest, most unblemished manhood she’d ever seen.

“It’s not possible…” Catherine murmured.

“Tug on it,” Arthur whispered in her ear.

Catherine wrapped her delicate fingers around the flawless organ and yanked lightly. She gasped. This most certainly was not a hoax.

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  1. Outrageously sexual as ever Nora! :)

    • Agreed! I like the sense of tension building and building to – next week’s installment!

      Catherine was so disgusted by the idea a couple of weeks ago. She seems to have changed her mind…

      • Littlestar, thank you. You are indeed correct that Catherine has done very little in the way of protesting the latest developments. Perhaps angry passions shall flare again in the next episode.

  2. seldom seen

    Nora,am i correct in guessing that your use of a revelation is that richard has athlete’s foot?
    That “one shoe” comment went directly over my head.
    Anyhow, i’m fairly certain i don’t need to know how the story ends. Is that a bad thing for writers to hear about their work?

    • Richard said he keeps the fungus at bay that way. He did not say he has it. It appears you need everything spelled out for you. Let’s just say it was a revelation to Catherine that a certain something was indeed real and not a hoax. Although if you prefer athlete’s foot by all means claim that revelation for yourself.

      Perhaps if you spent less time glibly commenting and more time carefully reading, you might have caught the “one shoe” comment. Richard is only wearing one shoe because the other is still under the table where he removed it.

      Unfortunately for you, the vote is no longer for least favorites. Of course, judging by your comments, you aren’t interested in hearing how anyone’s work ends. You must be convinced you would have wiped the floor with the competition had you participated. You’ve never said so but I can only assume it. Once you have encountered one bitter armchair critic, you have encountered them all.

  3. Nora I now have a whole new understanding of this novella – its intriguing how easy it is to understand wrongly! And I may still be totally up the wrong path.

    But now Catherine’s character is of no consequence, this is not about the real world its about the content of mind and as such so very much deeper and significant than I had previously given it credit. I think the clue was in the comment you made about a friend or yours. Now the question is whether it is your mind or the creation of your mind but like everything else in the universe, nothing stands alone, everything is a part of the whole. You are capturing things very well. All sorts of concepts are at play – insecurity, desire, wishfulness, idealism, experimentation etc. etc. and all uninhibited by the limits placed on us by social and political correctness.
    This is very good. Where are you taking it?

    I hope Constantine, with the permission of all the authors, will publish at least a pdf of all the inputs at the end of the competition – for me at least much needs re-reading!!

    • JDEvolutionist, your comment delights me. You are indeed barking up the right tree. My entries are not about reality in any literal sense. The sordid reckless behaviors I describe are entirely satirical. I can assure you, however, that my husband’s friend to which you referred is quite real. Were he not, there would be no fun in this. Let us just say “Richard,” if I may take another devilish swipe at him, will be in for the shock of his life come December. As you have no doubt noticed, I do not take kindly to being slighted!

      Host did tell us in the beginning that any writing on this website could and likely would be reprinted. So I see no reason why making PDFs or some other format available would be a problem.

      I see you also have a comment for Coco waiting moderation.

    • Absolutely, James. That was my intention all along. It’s just a question of what the best platform and format will be. Not sure why your comment on Coco’s post needed my approval. Websites are chimerical creatures.

  4. As you already know, this is far from my favorite genre – though it appeals much more to me when you describe this ‘manhood’ in such terms- I laughed aloud.

    • Nor is it my favorite genre but it has been far less distasteful to write than I expected at the onset. I’m delighted you were nonetheless able to take platonic pleasure in Richard’s manhood. This next passage will surely require my courage.

  5. Tony

    I’m just like Richard in every way… except i curve to the left

  6. As much as I enjoy this Nora, I’m not sure if I should vote for you… I’m just not ready for anal.


    • Goodness, Anna. There are ways of expressing one’s sentiments without invoking such raw, uncouth terminology. Don’t assume you know what the future holds. I may just surprise you next week.

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