Comments on: UTAH 6

By: Utah

Utah — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 10:28:36 +0000

Ideas are welcome but the one in the diner was Corey and she had a club sandwich!

By: Jodi Cleghorn

Jodi Cleghorn — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 12:15:02 +0000

Wasn’t Delia in a diner when last we left her? My Mum’s favourite steak knife is one which accidentally slipped into her bag from a meal out. Not that you need ideas!!

By: Utah

Utah — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 10:55:31 +0000

Pete Seeger! Bravo on the video, though I haven’t yet warmed to my steak knife challenge! Shouldn’t the credits song have been saved for when I was eliminated…

You have a wonderful son, Jodi. You must be very proud. Upsetting to see Omar go. He was one of my favorites.

By: JDEvolutionist

JDEvolutionist — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 17:29:13 +0000

Utah, its just that this type of story is not really my ‘cup of tea’, my choice of reading, however it is part of the competition and I am intrigued to find out what will happen. I hope it will go one way and Corey will not be damaged – good overcomes evil – but I have no idea which way you will take it. Hence I want to read on; the laughter bit is only to relate that dichotomy to the fact that we also tend to laugh at things that really should not be considered funny but, regardless of taste, we still find ourselves laughing at.

By: Vasia

Vasia — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 16:52:51 +0000

i feel equally sickened and intrigued at the same time. Please Utah, don’t make this another young-naive-female-victim story – empower Corey PLEASE!

By: Jodi Cleghorn

Jodi Cleghorn — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 10:26:25 +0000

‘m going to go against everyone else here and say I didn’t like the flash back to Corey’s story. I was primed and ready to see Delia launch into her search for Corey – especially since you used your immunity last round to fast forward the story and position it for the search.

I guess you need to decide if you want it to be the story through Delia’s eyes or Corey’s because in my opinnion the competition doesn’t allow the flexibility to alternate between their stories. Other’s may not agree but that’s OK.

I’m still a big fan of your writing Utah – just not impressed with the twist you’ve taken here.

By: Utah

Utah — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 23:15:15 +0000

JD Evolutionist, what do you mean in writing that we tend to laugh at things we shouldn’t laugh at if no one is laughing? Maybe I missed something.

Yes, Dan, a sad last sentence, and also an ambiguous one. Decisions, decisions indeed!

By: JDEvolutionist

JDEvolutionist — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 22:03:49 +0000

Somethings make you, me at least, uneasy and I don’t like them for that reason. Yes, the story has all the elements necessary to keep up interest and the writing is good but as I have said before we do tend to laugh at things we should not laugh at; not that I’m saying that anyone is laughing here. The unease is balanced by an expectation as to what Corey’s mother’s input in the story may turn out to be. Decisions, decisions!!

By: danpowell

danpowell — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 07:30:03 +0000

Liked this section. Taking the time over this scene pays off. There’s more showing here than telling. That last line was very sad. Great closing as reader’s will not want to leave the story at this point.

By: Utah

Utah — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 00:24:19 +0000

Thanks for the comments. All I can say is, ditto!