Comments on: UTAH 4

By: Utah

Utah — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 00:04:30 +0000

Oh my. It seems someone is having fun here. Tony is living up to the title of his blog (although I’m not sure about the “saint” part). Craig, I think Seldom Seen is right. I’m not sure I can offer you meth, guns, head wounds, sunken eyes, and gums with half-teeth. I think that was more Fyor’s forte. But search dogs, chains, snow and isolation… maybe.

By: seldom seen

seldom seen — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 22:02:17 +0000

craig i don’t think there’s any doubt we’ll see meth involved in a novella here. you could in fact argue its propelling nora to fleshier and more glistening heights. and clearly there’s been some nasty head wounds there as well…you’re just looking to the wrong contestant to find that stuff.

By: craig

craig — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 19:02:56 +0000

Finally I disagree with this Tony. Maybe it’s just the order of the writers, but refreshingly, I like this one. I anticipate meth and guns. former for the girl and latter for the search dogs. chains, snow, sunken eyes, gums with some half-teeth, isolation, head wounds. Kid Rock in the background

By: Tony

Tony — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 17:55:15 +0000

and at 3:09 i took a nap.. zzzzzzz

By: danpowell

danpowell — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 06:40:05 +0000

I thought Fyor’s last posted piece was his weakest and that probably had a big impact on the vote. That said, I don’t think he was the weakest contender last week and probably deserved another crack.

As for your story, I am still looking forward to seeing what happens next. So, despite my criticisms, you haven’t lost me as a reader yet.

By: Utah

Utah — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 00:41:08 +0000

A pleasure reading your reviews Dan. It’s interesting to read more detailed thoughts about our writing than comments can accommodate. Ironically, the part of my post you liked the least, my closing paragraph, was the part I liked the most. What you wrote might be applicable if I had more space to flush out the scene, but with only several dozen words to spare, I thought that was the best way to squeeze out all the tension I could get. Food for thought for both of us.

You felt that Fido was put down before that dog deserved to go but did you think that Fyor deserved to be executed at such an early stage? I was quite surprised by that vote.

Thanks and bravo.

By: JDEvolutionist

JDEvolutionist — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 13:14:16 +0000

It was your comments to Eros and Anna that I was finding hard to believe – the bit about ‘knowing where it was going’, I feel that you must have had a fair idea as to where it was heading!

By: Utah

Utah — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 12:53:05 +0000

Yes, I agree with you JDEvolutionist that it’s hard to believe. But the stories I read in the news suggest that there are things hard to believe occurring all the time. Like the American Fritzl as they call him. Who would have believed that?

I too didn’t think Fyor should have been eliminated. Perhaps my incorporation of his story was my way of protesting the vote. Although I must say that, like you, I’m not sure how comfortable I am with this new path it’s taking me down…

By: Utah

Utah — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 12:46:50 +0000

Thanks Jodi. The internet is still a kind of wild west isn’t it? We’re all trying to understand how it works and how to create laws and rules for it.

Just ten years ago the issue was how much television parents would allow children to watch and what channels. With television, even if children watch adult content, it’s a one-way viewing process. On the Internet the adult content can talk back, and write back, and video back. That is the terror. It opens our home up to the world.

By: JDEvolutionist

JDEvolutionist — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 08:29:18 +0000

Sounds good Utah but I find it hard to believe – we are all aware of this type of situation and the risks involved; its process is not knew only the wrappings, direction and outcome will vary.

I hadn’t really picked up on it in round 3, Fyor’s line had taken an earlier and different but equally disturbing story line and my comments related to that actually equally apply to yours.

I didn’t vote for Fyor because although I do not like the concepts, and there are many, I do recognise that a lot of disturbing thoughts are out there and are not dealt with by ignoring them. It’s a dilemma; and one that is in fact one that should be addressed and not swept under the carpet – but how to do it constructively while not further polluting the universal mind!!!