Comments on: RHAE 4

By: JDEvolutionist

JDEvolutionist — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 06:49:44 +0000

Funny how the voting goes!! I did not expect you to be anywhere near the chopping block. My personal take is that you have a good story line and I want to know more. I’m enjoying it.

Keep it up and don’t ‘sex it up’ for ‘sex it up’s sake’.

By: Rhae

Rhae — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 04:32:54 +0000

Unfortunately for me, Jodi and Kaylie, it seems that, as far as my writing goes, your comments are minority opinions. After seeing the poll percentages I see I could have just as easily been the one knifed into that wall instead of Igor. I could always “sex it up,” and I mean that quite literally, considering that all the writings about sex, whether denied, purchased, coerced or fantasized about, have survived the vote-offs. But I’ll leave that to the other more venereally focused contestants. My dishes may be bland, Auggie, but hopefully they’re hearty. You’ll have to look elsewhere for fast food.

By: Kaylie Jones

Kaylie Jones — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 19:27:31 +0000

I love SF so I’m happy with the overview so far. I think it will serve you and the story well to get more specific and also to add more personal conflict in the next round. You will surely be here for the next round.

By: Auggie

Auggie — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 22:34:24 +0000

this is not bad. but it’s definitely not good. has potential but rather bland as it stands. i haven’t read all the contestants yet, but you are in the lead for a vote.

By: Jodi Cleghorn

Jodi Cleghorn — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 11:21:19 +0000

Your writing really does deserve a larger space to play out. Though I am liking the personal details through which the Big Picture is being played out.

You are introducing us to real people and moving the backstory through them. Let’s hope for a bigger word count for next round.

I am particularly impressed with how you have woven the Fyor element into your 450 words.

By: Rhae

Rhae — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 16:32:45 +0000

The problem is that if I were to focus on the little details I would sacrifice on the Big Picture because I have so little space to work with. But you’re right. I may have bit off more than I can chew under the contest’s constraints. To keep momentum, I’m describing from a bird’s eye view pespective. As Abraham Lincoln said, “I could as easily bail out the Potomac River with a teaspoon as attend to all the details of the army.” Perhaps next time I will get the teaspoon.

By: littlestar

littlestar — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 05:55:39 +0000

Rhae, I do like your ideas, but the writing feels like a summary. There’s lots of Big Picture, but no little details. Well, so far, anyway…

By: craig

craig — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 17:38:30 +0000

funny, I just saw “I am Legend.”

this is great stuff

By: annasbones

annasbones — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 22:38:38 +0000

Absolutely inspiring. I feel I am in the presence of a future best-seller. This is gripping and intelligent. If we were made to vote for favorite writer, you’d get my vote. Superb!