OMAR 6

Sep 30, 2009 by

Read Omar 5 here (see “Similar Posts” at the bottom of this post for any earlier entries)

Round 6 Challenge: Incorporate a White Russian and the words “over the line” into your next passage, which should be no more than 500 words.

VI

As Don Don spoke a star shot by
Across the moonless night;
So what, it’s dark, don’t be surprised;
It’s not like it’s first light.
The birds and beasts did long ago
Depart when Claus stopped singing;
They went alone, one by one;
They hadn’t come for swinging.
“No, rat Don, don’t tag along,
Just join me at my side;
I neither lead nor follow;
That’s how the Claus abides.”
The rat Don Don looked up at Claus:
“Dude, man, don’t go freaking;
All I meant was let’s chill out,
It’s just a way of speaking.”
“Sorry, Don, I’m all strung out,
I’ve got this song to write;
I’ve got to post by midnight
On this website called Fourth Night.”
Don Don he did stare at him;
Not quite, his eyes were rolling.
“What the fuck you talking about?
Fuck it, let’s go bowling.”
But Claus he was still hesitant:
“I have to write my tune,
And finish it by midnight;
I wish I had till noon.”
Don Don then rolled up a spliff
Of sweet dank chronic goo:
“They call this bud ‘White Russian’;
Just try it, you’ll breeze through.”
Claus began to worry
About his rat-faced chum,
Who claimed a royal lineage
But acted like a bum.
“The bums will always lose” is what
His dad did always say.
But Don Don passed the spliff to him,
“Go on, dude, puff away.”
So Claus he took a monster drag;
He sputtered, coughed and hacked,
Then giggled, laughed, chiggled, chaffed,
His mind was totalled, wacked.
“Let’s go bowl,” Claus told Don Don,
His eyeballs veiny slits;
So much for his task at hand:
He’s shotgunning a Schlitz.
Don’t ask where they went to bowl,
These stoners: boy and rat;
Stranger things have happened;
Just ask the Cheshire Cat.
First they had to get their shoes;
Osama manned the desk;
Saddam was fired from that job;
How very Kafkaesque.
(Actually they hung him;
You probably saw the clip;
But no need to get into that;
Let’s not go jumping ship.)
“Over the line!” Claus did scream out
At rat Don as he bowled.
“This aggression will not stand, man,”
Said Don Don as he rolled.
Claus had really lost his wits:
The herb was much too strong;
No surprise that on his turn
Events turned badly wrong.
Claus held up the bowling ball;
He licked it for good luck;
But on the backswing it did slip
His grip, oh, what a schmuck.
Alas, Don Don behind him
Was itching at a gnat
When the backflung ball did land
Upon him with a splat.
No moral to this passage;
No message that we bring,
Except one thing we’d like to say:
Good night, sweet prince, sweet king.
So what of Claus, what shall he do?
Again he is alone;
Again he lost a friend of his,
Alone, he must atone.
Leave him to his world of pain
In hopes that he does draw
Some music from the well of grief
To end this hem and haw.

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10 Comments

  1. haha, my kind of poetry 😉 keep on rolling Omar.

  2. Eros

    Omar I am very surprised that people have fallen for this dribble pass round two. :( The ability to rhyme is the only thing that has saved your butt, because it sure as hell is not your story. There has been no movement in it for a few rounds now. You spend more time bitching about the challenges then telling your story. Had you not wasted your time I could have looked pass you retelling a story that has been retold a million times and you wouldn’t have been getting my vote every round. If you do make it into the next round I hope you start moving forward. Love, Eros

    • Eros

      Ps. Oh sorry I forgot that I voted for someone else Round 3.

    • Eros of the iron fist
      Pretends to wear a velvet glove;
      Enough already, find a word
      To sign off with than “love.”
      You are no Jesus, nor a Gandhi,
      Sure as hell you’re not the Buddha;
      Time to drop the lovey dovey;
      Embrace your inner barracuda.

      • Eros

        “Eros of the iron fist”
        Have you never heard of Tough Love?

        “Pretends to wear a velvet glove;”
        I have made no profession of any gloves. Even Christ will have a double edged tongue.

        “Enough already, find a word
        To sign off with than ‘love.’”
        Why it’s the Truth. I have written no lie on this show.

        “You are no Jesus, nor a Gandhi,”
        I have not said I AM. But oh how I wish.

        “Sure as hell you’re not the Buddha;”
        Maybe in a little time though, one must always hope.

        “Time to drop the lovey dovey;”
        Not on my life.

        “Embrace your inner barracuda.”
        I embrace only the inner Light. But pain and alcohol make for a beastly filter.

        I am sorry I hurt your heart, but not everything that got said. You shouldn’t have gotten my vote this round because you nailed the challenge, I mistook your cleverness for bitching again. Next round you will get my immunity, no matter what I think, to make up for this misconception.

        Love, Eros

  3. Omar you are a pain! I voted you out last time. Maybe it depends what time of day it is when you are read. Somehow I’m back to liking this for all its drivel! Memories of Fido here. I just don’t know – back to thinking again, your up against some much more conventional competition even if it is just as full of shit in many respects! We’ll see.

  4. Jeez, guys – what’s with all the Omar hate? What’s not to like about this? Omar’s amazing rhymes make me laugh every week!

    • Eros

      Littlestar, I don’t hate Omar or his work. I think he is a genius without focus. I got frustrated with him for a minute because I was drunk. Internet plus alcohol equals bad idea. Love, Eros

  5. I’m with you LittleStar (gee we seem to side often?). There is enough doom,gloom and misery in the world. I can look forward to a laugh and a giggle very week knowing Omar is going to bust out the rhyme.

    And for those nay-sayers … I’ve never managed to perfect the art of effortless rhyme (I’m not suggesting Omar it is effortless for you to write – though it comes across almost seamless) You have my respect and you wont be getting my vote.

    Keep up doing something different and lets hope the conservatives and the highbrow poetry snobs don’t come to gobble you up.

  6. Joan Begs

    Omar you are fantastic! Keep going, you are my favourite! Don’t worry about the critics, some are just jealousy because. Rhymes are difficult to express and that is an art of saying but difficult. Thanks for your courage and effort!

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