OMAR 5

Sep 20, 2009 by

Fourth Fiction Challenge 5Round 5 Challenge: Incorporate this image into your next passage of no more than 500 words. You can interpret this challenge as you see fit.

*click on the thumbnail to see a larger image

V

Quick, before the rat returns
To whence it was he came;
Indeed that was bad grammar;
Too bad we have no shame.
Stop this silly prattle now;
There’s business to do;
Quick, go ask that whiskered rat,
“Piper? When? Where? Who?”
Don’t be dim, the “who” we know,
Pied Piper is his name;
If we don’t stop goofing off,
Claus’ quest will be in vain.
Claus is way ahead of us,
His listening cap is on;
He’s talking to the rodent,
Who says his name is Don.
Here is what rat Don did say,
A transcript word for word;
With omniscient narrators
All’s seen and all is heard.
“Twas a dark and stormy night,”
Don Don so did begin;
The repeat was deliberate:
Don is a Spanish king.
“A rat a Spanish king?” you cry,
“What nonsense you do speak!”
You’re so anthropocentric:
A king can also squeak.
“Then why a Spaniard?” you demand
We are in Germany;
A rodent émigré from Spain
Is hardly that likely!”
(We hope that you did accent
Not on the first vowel “i”
But on the “y” of “likely”
To help the rhyme scrape by).
Why don’t you just keep quiet?
What’s your beef today?
Did someone dump you? Did the wind
Blow off your cheap toupee?
How likely, tell me, is it
That the Arctic tern does fly
Not once but twice a year
‘Tween the North and South Pole sky?
So kindly do please shut your trap,
We’ve lost half our word count;
Chime in no more, let’s now return
To hear Don Don’s account.
“Twas a dark and stormy night,
When Piper played his flute;
The rats of Hamelin followed him
Down that fatal route.
I had some pals among that bunch;
I was there on vacation;
I always did find German trash
The best of any nation.
While feasting with my merry lads,
His song pierced through the thunder;
I’d never heard such melody;
A spell it put us under.
He played on as he left the town;
We scuffled, scrabbled, scurried;
The feast could wait, we could not miss
Such music, how we hurried!
I cramped from overeating,
As if stuck by a knife;
Marooned, I cursed my gluttony,
Though greed would save my life.
Piper led the others
To the swollen riverbank;
He waded in and in they plunged,
Blind to his cruel prank.
By the time I found my friends,
All of them had drowned.
Only Piper did remain,
A homicidal clown.”
Don Don then did pause,
For a moment he looked human,
Tortured by a memory
In deed and dead inhuman.
“I never did return to Spain;
My eldest took the throne;
I could not bear to leave this place;
I chose to live alone.
Till now only Pied Piper
Possessed my every dream;
But now I know on hearing you,
He’s not alone supreme.
Mind if I do tag along
And join your company?
I may be just a rat, but still,
My blood is royalty.”

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6 Comments

  1. Sweet rhymes once again!

  2. I don’t care what the others say about your poetry not being “high brow” enough. It is entertaining and music to my ears and I look forward, as always, to reading more.

  3. Sorry Omah but I’m not as impressed as Anna and Jodi – its been an interesting approach but I feel that you have failed to create that feeling of ‘wanting to know what’s about to happen’ and the approach in terms of Novella is losing its appeal.

    Not read all round 5 entries yet but your close to a vote from me! But it is at least round 5.

  4. tetra

    as ever some great stuff mixed in with some less polished lines. nicely balanced telling of the story and digressing

  5. I’m with JD, more story is needed now. I am still liking the form, but definitely need to get stuck in to the story now.

  6. You’re right Dan Powell and JD Ev,
    This tale is in a bog;
    It’s sad but true, I’m at a loss;
    I’m drinking lots of grog.
    So prithee, if you have advice
    On where my rhymes should go,
    Do share the news, I will make sure
    You get your quid pro quo.

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