Sep 29, 2009 by

Read Nora 5 here (see “Similar Posts” at the bottom of this post for any earlier entries)

Round 6 Challenge: Incorporate a White Russian and the words “over the line” into your next passage, which should be no more than 500 words.

Catherine felt her blood start to boil as the meaning of those words crashed upon her purring semi-consciousness. She shoved Arthur off her ravaged body and bolted up, her prodigious breasts spilling about.

“Wait a long minute. What did you say? The man in that photo? Your lover?!”

Arthur leapt up as nimbly as a panther, wincing as his half-swollen salivating maleness swung out and slapped against his defined Adonis-like pubic bone. He clutched Catherine by her velvety shoulders. “But darling, I told you! When I asked if you understood you cried out, ‘Yes, yes, yes!’”

“Fool!” Catherine cried, tearing herself from his grip. “Are you nothing but a perfectly sculpted torso? I wasn’t in my right senses!” Catherine began weeping into her hands, her oversized breasts bouncing rhythmically with the sobs. “I never expected it would come to such an obscene end! Oh, Arthur! What indecent desire drove you into… oh I can’t bear saying it… into the muscular arms of another man?

“You must listen, it’s more complicated…”

Catherine was suddenly overwhelmed by the image of another man mounted behind her husband, plunging forth with barbaric cries into the forbidden depths of his tanned rock-hard buttocks. “If that is what you wanted, Arthur, you should have told me. There are things we could have done…”

Arthur suddenly cried out. “Oh, blast it all! It’s you I fantasized about, Catherine. You whom I imagined in my place, being mauled by Richard…”

Catherine stared in shock at her husband. “Is this what it will take, Arthur? Must I offer up my body to another man to preserve our marriage? Is my only unjust choice to have my lady business mistreated and violated by a stranger?”

“No,” Arthur said hoarsely, his python languidly rousing from its slumber. “Not your lady business.”

Catherine turned scarlett with outrage. “You mean… but that’s over the line, Arthur!” Her widespread rump, silhouetted in the moonlit window, clenched up briefly in physiological self-defense.

“That line was crossed long ago, Catherine. I was a coward not to have told you. Will you try it? For our marriage. I’ll watch by your side, angel. Maybe I’ll even join in.”

Catherine gazed at the moon with a heavy, betrayed heart. She extended her left hand. “Show me again this man who is to steal my brown-eyed virginity.” Arthur brought the photo. She imagined the mask of merciless subjugation Richard would wear while he muscled his way into her uncharted territories, oblivious to her whimpered protestations.

“He is a most remarkable individual,” Arthur rushed to assure her. “His grandfather was a White Russian, a top general in the White Army that resisted the Reds in the 1920s, so he comes from top stock.”

Catherine sighed in resignation. “If this is what it takes, so be it. Ask him to join us for dinner at his earliest convenience. And do make haste, Arthur. Our marriage is at stake.”

The next evening at 5pm on the dot, the doorbell rang.

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  1. Nora, you are one twisted woman.

  2. Excuse me, Annabones, but was it not YOU who lectured Tess on the difference between herself and the main character? Here you go now attacking the author of the piece. My private life has nothing, God forbid, to do with that of Catherine and Arthur’s. This is exploratory, experimental genre writing, nothing more. It is rather curious that you of all people call me twisted, considering you publicly announce details of your sexual life in your comments. I suggest you reconsider not only your adjectives but also your direct objects before making any more glib remarks.

  3. Nora, a) YOU wrote this, this comes from YOUR head and b) ‘twisted’ in my world is a *compliment* – hence why I liked Tuck’s story.

    Geesh, woman, relax.

  4. tetra

    nice bedtime reading. hehe. Nora you are a conundrum. I like the twists in the tellin g of he scene. Expertly done. I transfer my allegiance to Tuck (RIP) to you. that is also a compliment. haha

  5. I must say, tetra, that you and annasbones have odd ways of offering up your compliments. Nevertheless, they are appreciated. I am pleased to see you are enjoying the plot twists. Stay tuned for dinner.

  6. Jay

    I don’t really *want* to like your stuff, Nora, but I do. I find it extremely entertaining. And that’s pretty much the point of this contest, I think. Well done.

  7. Thank you, Jay, and welcome to the contest. I don’t recall seeing any of your comments prior to now.

  8. Another entertaining piece in fact this one had me laughing in places (with you, rather than at you). ‘Is my only unjust choice to have my lady business mistreated and violated by a stranger?’ had me cracked up. I love the fact that these absurd words actually sound real when they come from Catherine. I hope you make it through to next week.

  9. You’re absolutely right. The sentence does seem rather peculiar when read out of context. (My first impression was, “‘Lady business?’ Did I really write that?”) Thank you Dan for the excellent insight.

    • I’ve been totally unable to get the line “Show me this man who is to steal my brown-eyed virginity” out of my head ALL WEEK.

      Now that’s something that’s never happened in a Mills & Boon novel before.

      (Well, at least, not that I know of, anyway)

      It’s clear we’ve stepped (appropriately) over the line of the romance genre and into parodyland. I feel very, very sorry for poor Catherine next week…

      • Apologies do not come easily to me, but if that line has been running through your head all week, perhaps I should extend to you my deepest apologies!

  10. Nora, not so sure I’m as impressed as the others, I thought the dialogue towards the end was weak and I had given Catherine a much stronger character than the one you are currently portraying – ‘Catherine sighed in resignation.’ just does not sound right after such a short exchange between the two characters and certainly doesn’t come close to what I would expect of a far more mundane act of betrayal. Don’t think you will be voted out but I’m confused now – perhaps its just not what I wanted then again you are a woman (I assume) and still waters run deep – perhaps the male mind is just being stupid and that character, her character, is just about to show itself true self again!! Yes that’s what it must be. Good luck with it anyway.

    • You can safely assume that, JDEvolutionist, just as I safely assume that you are a man. However, it is not because my waters are “still.” If you reread the final few passages you may find that Catherine is not quite the resigned weak creature you fear her to be. Thank you anyway for your comment.

  11. Nora you do what you do well .. and you keep offering up hooks to reel us in.

    It feels dirty to want to read more – because you know I don’t like cliched Mills and Boons drivel nor awful euphemismed sex … but I admire you for having learnt to play the Fourth Fiction game(because that’s exactly what it is) You’ve created a successfull forumla.

    Let’s see Catherine toughen up … and dish up something she wants for dinner!

    • Jodi, I assure you that I am often mortified myself when I read over my passages. The difficulty is that once one starts writing this way it is remarkably difficult to stop. Worst of all, one must keep pushing the boundaries (or going over the line, as it were) to keep the reader’s interest. It becomes a vicious, and rather sordid, cycle.

      I have still not forgotten my husband’s friend’s remark over the summer about my alleged prudishness. It is precisely that which motives some of the more ribald scenes. He will certainly be in for a blushing surprise when he reads this in several months!

  12. Gotta say, this is my favorite lines, “Her widespread rump, silhouetted in the moonlit window clenched up briefly in physiological self-defense”. You’re capturing the convoluted essence of “modern love” quite well here Nora. Because it really is TWISTED (and I agree with Annabones, that’s a compliment!)…. Keep it up!

  13. Vasia, I wasn’t trying to capture any essence of modern love in writing that sentence, but if you can read into it references to modern-day relationships then God have mercy on us all. I’m just glad I’m not “in the market.”

    I generally stay out of outside discussions but I just wanted to say that I wholly agree with Dan and Jodi in their comments to Rhae about how character is essential to fiction. If we all only wanted ideas, we’d be reading non-fiction. Thank you, Dan, for that marvelous compilation of quotes.

  14. What a delightful boy Dylan is. The handwritten element was very touching. Omar should not be so unpleased. The comments suggest he has found martyrdom in his departure.

    After seeing some of the other contestants’ challenges (homicidal clown, astral projection…) I have little to complain about the Whitehouse. Time to put the thinking cap on!

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