Sep 18, 2009 by

Fourth Fiction Challenge 5

Round 5 Challenge: Incorporate this image into your next passage of no more than 500 words. You can interpret this challenge as you see fit.

*click on thumbnail for a larger image

There is black cloud suddenly over his face and he turns away. I know now something is wrong.

Sometimes he make me coffee or food on veranda first but not this time. I follow him to bathroom. He say to leave light on. Usually we go to bedroom with metal shutters down and candles for light.

I put on spike heels as he undress. In sink is rope and the ducktape.

Are you sure you want to lie here? I say. Floor is filthy.

What did I say? he say angry. Ate Maria! Tie it tight. Ate!

He is shouting. Now I want to tie him because of bad feeling I have. I tie his wrists ankles arms legs everything. I tie hard and make knots too much strong. Then I tape around his head three four times to shut his mouth. That way neighbours don’t hear cries.

First he lie on stomach and I step all over until he’s covered in red marks. Then he rolls over. This part is more pain for him. I step up on his legs then up zhopa to his belly and chest. He has tears now but eyes don’t show pain. Normally they pop out now.

Normally for me its okay doing this. Everyone have different pleasure. But this time feels bad. I can see when man has darkness inside. The bright bathroom light give his face yellow colour and make shadows under eyes. But most scarey is his eyes. Something dark and still in them. Too much dark.

I see many eyes of men because many try look at you when they make sex. Some hope your having pleasure and some want to see pain. Depend on man. I know how to make face they want to keep them coming back. Dangerous man always is who’s eyes don’t change. Like two marbles of ice. Stavros have this now. Like he’s accepted he deserve punishment so he’s calm in his suffering.

Even when I pinch his nose shut (he like suffocation) his eyes don’t change. Even his body start shaking first. That’s when my foot slips. The spike slides down side of his stomach and rip skin off. Not dangerous but horrible still.

I panic little and try to remove tape from his mouth but he jerk head away like he want tape on. So I clean with hot water. Finally bleeding stops but blood is all over floor. I go to balcony for mop.

I don’t see poor Frodo right away but when I do I almost collapse. For moment I can’t breath. Frodo is tied dead to closeline hanging between Stavro’s socks from his paws.  And then I scream and scream and scream. All horror of my life is there. Like nightmare that come alive. Like message from God that its not Frodo hanging there but me. Although if God allow such things maybe his messages don’t deserve hearing.

I run out to street. That’s where police find me.

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  1. Molodyetz! Fabulous. I hope you will at some point look into her inner world a little more. She is a fascinating character.

  2. Brilliant Coco. There is no denying why you continue to be a favourite with readers here.

  3. Interesting Coco up to your previous post I have felt that there was something developing and I wanted to find out what it was. That is really happening now – firing on all cylinders. Still not sure where it all comes from, I accused Igor of being autobiographical but for me his, right or wrong, seemed to be more so than yours and you are developing a plot. You won’t be getting my vote in this round – keep it up.
    Wonder what Tuck will make of it?

  4. hmm Kaylie I thought I am giving already Ivana’s inner world maybe even too much by showing how she react to outside world in her thinking.
    JD Yes I am waiting to read what Tuck will write! Ivana can handle him him. She has seen it all! Whats wrong with autobiographical? Novelas can be autobiographic yes?
    Writing is very good this round so far. Vote can go anywhere.

  5. Coco – I didn’t know what to think when I first started reading your novella. At first, I was really put off by your writing style.

    But now, I’m hooked and find myself looking forward to the next round…

  6. Its not style its bad English haha. If I could change I would! I love your star picture very much. Same colours of Ukraine flag :)

    After last writing Tuck did I’m looking forward to next round to! Tuck dont forget what Jodi said… That you are messing with wrong woman! Although who knows. Maybe right woman. Maybe Frank need some one like Ivana to put him in his place! 😉

  7. tetra

    Tuck is Tucking into your pie. better give that sob some medicine ’cause I dont expect him to feel any compunction in roughing around with your story girl. i feel hes ahead coz hes already ahead of your story and limiting your moves. quite the tactician. better show us what you can do in a tight situation if you both make it through to the next round. whose gonna have the last laugh?

  8. This is best read with a faux-Cantonese accent

  9. Another awesome piece Coco. Love the way this builds in tension building to her bursting out onto the street. And you manage to beat Tuck at his own game. Definitely on board for next week. Your ability to draw in the reader is remarkable.

  10. Auggie

    coco, you’re a sicko.

  11. Йопта these comments on website make good humour! I feel I am now in wrestling fight against Tuck and we each have our teams for support. Anyway Tuck you can know I didn’t vote for you. I am ready for your mister frank…

    I am also laughing now because I realise when I was making editing changes in writing about Stavro’s position on bathroom floor that I forgot to change the zhopa (his but) with his body so Stavros right now has a zhopa under his belly by accident! haha So maybe that’s his punishment for frodo. To live forever with his ass in front of him.

  12. Yes but I will have to wait long time before it comes to Cyprus cinema though!

    So now I have TWO movies I am waiting for! … 😉

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