Comments on: UTAH 2

By: Kaylie Jones

Kaylie Jones — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 00:03:12 +0000

Late to the game here, but I LOVE it.

By: Jodi Cleghorn

Jodi Cleghorn — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 09:19:10 +0000

The first sentence isn’t totally redundant Utah- it did get you into the second round

By: Utah

Utah — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 22:53:36 +0000

Thanks, Dan. I’m with you that the first sentence of this passage works better than the previous one. Too bad I can’t toss my opening sentence!

By: danpowell

danpowell — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 15:58:57 +0000

Great set-up and some nice turns of phrase here. I think the first sentence of this passage serves better as your first sentence for the whole piece. Just let the reader into the world and discover the theme for themselves. Definitely want to read more.

By: Jodi Cleghorn

Jodi Cleghorn — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 02:02:24 +0000

Well it seems you got the image across so we all were (well I was able to!) to put my own cultural imprint and understanding on it.

You probably did yourself a favour by never watching Children of the Corn. It was a Stephen King short story (around 6 pages long from memory) and only the first one was any good. ALl the rest after that just relied on the latest updates in visual effects to scare the pants off you.

By: Utah

Utah — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 00:51:05 +0000

Thanks Jodi! I considered the tractor beam image but thought it a bit too conventional and unimaginative, at least coming from me (instead, I went with the other cliche-the alien beam!).

Children of the Corn. Brrr. I’ve been told to see it but never could bring myself to. Just not a good idea for a farmer… especially one with a vivid imagination!

By: Jodi Cleghorn

Jodi Cleghorn — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 23:55:40 +0000

Any one who has ever been held in the otherwordly thrall of the internet late at night – knows that the screen is almost like a tractor (?) beam. A really vivid and well imagery.

I’m intrigued by the dream of the scorched earth and the possible metaphors it could stand for in this woman’s life The cornfield also evokes images of horror for those of us scarred by six Children of the Corn films.

A good solid continuation Utah.