Aug 17, 2009 by

Read TUCK 1 here

ROUND 2: Write the opening paragraph of your novella. It should be no more than 300 words, not including your opening sentence, and should be about interactions that take place over the web.

Frank knew the last thing headquarters needed was an attempt on the president. Intelligence was desperate for some good publicity. Their reputation was on the line. The liberal media was again fussing over Gary Mckinnon’s hacks into the US military’s computer systems, using the extradition hearings as a smokescreen for editorials about the vulnerabilities of American security. Meanwhile, instead of locking McKinnon up for life, the Brits had made him into a national hero. Still sour about their lost empire, they found malicious comfort in the subversive acts and anti-American rantings of a conspiracist nutjob who claimed the U.S. was hiding UFO evidence and colluding with oil companies to suppress “free” energy. If Frank were in charge, they’d take out McKinnon and save themselves the extradition headaches. But instead “rule of law” was the administration’s refrain. The top dog was a socialist peacenik with a racial chip on his shoulder who, amidst a recession, was trying to force his Soviet Big Brother health care spending spree down the throats of the American people while posing as a Bud Light drinking good old boy. A shrewd Chicago player who won thanks to all the sexually repressed housewives and interracial porn watching college sluts who’d been handed a socially acceptable way of cheerleading for their ultimate black lover fantasy. But although Frank Braun would have liked to see the man now occupying the highest seat in the land sent back to Kenya, he was also a patriot who understood the words Country First. This was a time to set grievances aside, no matter how justifiable, and unite against Islamofascists, who in their infinite anger and impotent jealousy wanted to destroy the American way of life. So he swallowed his pride and assured the chief that he was the man for the job.

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  1. Had you hacked out the first half of this I might have found in palatable – and while I understand this is an internal monologue it just comes across as a not so thinly veiled personal rant on politics and you lost the edge you gave Frank in the opening sentence with what seems like an impossible or at the very least, difficult condundrum for him.

    And it is not just a reaction to the political position – which I am the first to acknowledge – but all the jargon which just bamboozles a reader – in all the wrong ways. While one has the luxury of going back to re-read a paragraph the reader will not go back and re-read a chapter or several paragraphs to ensure they get your meaning or to understand the plot and subtext.

    Gratefully you do bring it back to the original premise at the end, so all is not lost …. but I fear this leaves a bad taste in my mouth Tuck. Sorry!

    • Sorry for what? You just said I left a bad taste in your mouth. That leaves me with a warm fuzzy feeling. So far so good.

  2. You would say that Tuck!

  3. Blackjack5555

    Tuck, did you get on this show just so that you could spill more hate for Americans into the world. It is because of people like you that fill their lives and hearts with hate and then open their big mouths, that the “Islamofascists” (as you put it) and a good part of the world, want to see the US dead. Is this the way you really want to be remembered? Anything you put into the web is there forever, so think of this as your epitaph. I really do hope that I have gotten you and your writing all wrong and this is just a way to start a story of change for the better, for this man. The hate and contempt that you have shown in your writing so far, if it is real, will consume you mind, body, and soul so please get help for this problem. Love Blackjack5555

    • You sign your comments with “Love, Blackjack5555” and you suggest that I’m the one who needs help? I didn’t know Isis had a brother. Since you don’t like me spilling hate, maybe I should spill my love seed instead like I did last night. Ask your sister, she’ll tell you all about it. Don’t worry, it was Tantric so we fused into universal oneness. Love, Tuck.

      • Blackjack5555

        Yes I do suggest that you are the one that needs help. I sign with love because I do unconditional love every person that ever has, is now and ever will be living here on earth. A person without problems with hate would have seen that is what I am trying to show you. Isis is not my earthly sister, but yes i am her and your universals brother. We are all God’s children. I would much rather that you spilled your “love seed”, that is if you use protection, we don’t need any little tuck running around right now. Now as for my sister, yes she would tell me all about it, that’s the way we roll, sex is not dirty as you are trying to make it out to be. If you had really had tantric sex and fused into the universal oneness last night you would know that. If you reply to this tuck, please stop and think about what it is you are writing so that you don’t come off as some 9th grader again. Love, Blackjack5555

        • Sounds to me like you’ve unconditionally loved your sister, all right. Probably a bunch of times. I take it interbreeding is in the family, huh Blackjack? That explains things. Love, Tuck666

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