Aug 16, 2009 by

Read TESS 1 here

ROUND 2: Write the opening paragraph of your novella. It should be no more than 300 words, not including your opening sentence, and should be about interactions that take place over the web.

Quality guys are like four-leaf clovers: you may find one by accident, but you probably won’t. I used to hunt with my girlfriends at bars, house parties, gallery openings, etc. but that always led to dead-ends. I’d bag what seemed like a nice boy but then some trashy Facebook-related quarrel would ensue (now it’s Twitter) or I’d discover his romantic side was crippled from too much online porn or he’d claim his life was “complicated” and he was “too confused to commit” (as if he were the only one with doubts) or he’d spring an “I haven’t gotten over her yet” cliché when things got intimate or it’d be apparent he only wanted an easy lay with an easy way out, which is what all boys’ excuses amount to. (You may as well know this now: My name is Trisha, I’m 23, and I’m a virgin. I’ll do everything else—you almost have to nowadays—but only the right guy gets to plant his flag into my South Pole. I’ve heard it 1000 times: “It’s twisted,” “You’re giving boys access to the wrong portal,” blahblah, but I just have my way of doing things. Some things are sacred, others aren’t. And, no, I don’t have Christian hang-ups about preserving premarital virginity. I’m just quirky :)). In 2008 I thought I’d try the online scene. Soon I was virtually dating a dozen boys (ego boost) though I had to weed out some freaks who’d start instant messaging about their penises after the first ten minutes. It was mostly platonic but some included webcam stripteases (firsthand advice: ensure your head is off-screen unless you want to come across your face on an amateur site). But it wasn’t until early 2009 that I finally decided to go real world with a virtual boy.

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  1. Tess … I didn’t want to know she was a 23 year old virgin!! What an awesome twist you’ve given away in your first paragraph. You should have kept that one very close to your chest.

    I liked your list of reasons but I got tired pretty quickly of the comments inside the brackets and was sad to see you ditched the hunting theme pretty early on, which I believe would have given you the edge you’ve been promising for your writing.

    • at least she’s not a 40 year old virgin lol! i’ve got plenty more secrets, Jodi, and more hunting to do too. but i can’t keep all my secrets and twists for the end! what if i get voted off next round?? >:-(
      i’ve got to *lure* the readers in. isn’t that how a huntress does it 😉

  2. Tess, my belated congrats girl, seems like you did well! not one single vote AND immunity!
    Looking forward to your next post, and how you’ll fit a ‘dead dog’ in the equation.
    Hoping for an interesting read :)

    • thanks anna! FINALLY i can say something here. I was going to write yesterday about how lucky I was but I didn’t want Mr. Host to go grumpy on me and remove my immunity because I was “misusing” my comment privileges… lol. i do have an idea for my dog challenge but i’m so sad to see fido go! what’s wrong with our voters?! :~( i would have voted ME off before fido LOL but i do have an idea for my dog entry. mwah. =^..^=

  3. There’s an interesting mix developing here between our long standing and deep routed desire and susceptibility to base human instincts – love, hate, ethics, jealousy etc. – and the superficial shallowness of current materialism and its associated degenerative effects. I sense a huntress seeking escape from the mound of mental detritus that infects us in a search not just of the four leaf clover but of truth.
    Sorry is that just a load of crap!! I’m looking forward to round three anyway, keep up the good work – all of you.

    • omg that almost made me a little wet LOL! but seriously, that was amazing. it’s like you saw right through me. “the mound of mental detritus that infects us…” I don’t know if i can live up to those expectations but i’ll try!!

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