Aug 28, 2009 by

Read IGOR 1 here

Read IGOR 2 here

Round 3 Challenge: Incorporate the death of a dog into your next passage. It should be no more than 400 words long.

Don’t assume it’s because I’m looking for any sympathy tears that I’m telling you this. There’s no sorrier sight than a self-pitying paraplegic and nothing more repulsive than the pity of the pedestrian. I don’t need you opening any bloody doors for me or pushing me up any inclines. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not one of those bitter Lieutenant Dan types who rail against every Forrest Gump who comes along. I’m sure you mean well. I know you don’t mean to be a patronising imperious wanker. But it’s hard not to get riled at times, especially when some muppet in shining armour decides to make you into his damsel in distress. Like I have a sign over me that says “Push Me To Feel Good”.

So now that we’ve dropped the phoney niceties, let’s get on with the story. I should probably mention how old I am and where I’m from and all the rest of that character development rubbish they teach in writing books. The thing is, when you’re in a wheelchair, age is a meaningless term, an outdated leftover from your upright years. If there’s one thing I’ve got now, it’s time. Whether I slice it up into years or not, it’s the same shite.

As far as parents, I’ve got some, if you can call them that. They’re out there somewhere, probably getting pissed in some dingy council flat. They’d always been right twats but after the accident they revealed their true colours. I was completely dependent for the first two years so it fell on them to assist me. They resented it. I was just a pain-in-the-arse cripple to them. They never said it to my face. But when they got wasted they’d talk about me. They never were quiet drunks.

A few days ago some bloke in New Zealand clubbed his pit bull with a hammer, slit its neck, and then roasted it. He killed it because it was a nuisance. It caused a fuss in the news. I say good on him. At least he didn’t toss the dog out to die of exposure or spend his life whinging about how ugly it was.

I have more to offer than pain, suffering, and bitterness. There is light. Bright, piercing and cathartic. But first I must wheel myself through the tunnel.

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  1. Beran Djemal

    nice one… meaning as a literary piece not the things that are happenning in the story. Me liking this passege is like clapping to a good actor after his great performance on stage as the `devil`

  2. Cheers. Chuffed to hear it. I always preferred the Iagos to the Othellos.

  3. Your interesting premise continues apace. Really like the last paragraph. That sets us up for getting into the meat and potatoes next time. Good stuff.

  4. That last paragraph wasn’t part of my first draft but I added it after realising the passage needed something more. With serial writing you really have to end on a zinger every time. Can get a tad corny but I suppose a zinger a day keeps the voter away.

  5. I have a love/hate relationship with this story Igor. I love your writing and your acidic wit – but sadly I feel a completely apathetic towards your character – even though he has a very strong and unique voice and “presence” on the page.

    Perhaps I’m being choked by backstory and I want to see your character in motion rather than stuck there thinking about stuff. I know you say all he has is thinking – but I want a narrative for him to move through.

    I’m not sure if simply being in a wheelchair is conflict enough to connect me with the character and his story at this point. And part of me feels bad for diss-ing a dude in a wheel chair.

    See – you have me tied up in love/hate knots. Argh!

  6. Auggie

    hahahahahaha. now this is funny. you wont be getting my vote.

  7. Bloody hell, what’s going on here? The War of the Comments is underway. Auggie vs Aussie. Chuffed I’ve got front row seats for it.

    Jodi, you’re having a love/hate relationship with the story and at the same time you’re totally apathetic about the character… sounds like a case for the headshrinker.

    I’ll pass on to the chef the request for a character in motion. I’m not sure that was on the menu but I’m sure he can whip something up for you next week.

  8. Your reference to the chef Igor makes me laugh – my son tells me he’s going to grow up to be on Master Chef!

    I am at a complete loss with your story – as to why I have all these terrible conflicting feeling about it – can’t come out a say I hate it because I don’t, but I don’t engage with your character, but I want you to stay as well to see where it goes … especially since you’d dropped a promise for something next installment.

    As for the war of comments – I won’t stomach cheap shots. This is meant to be about the writing not about the individuals and after my entanglement with Nora last week – I intend to keep everyone else honest in their commenting – though totally staying away from Tuck and Blackjack.

  9. Jodi, aren’t you knackered from writing all these comments? I am just from reading them. Not that I’m not enjoying it. Don’t get me wrong. But if I were you I’d be heading off for a pint right about now.

  10. I spend whole chunks of my day reading and critiquing – but it is never as fun as this! I saved up all my commenting for the last final burst over the finish line. Now to do something productive for me – like some writing.

    Good luck for the poll!

  11. I’m very interested in this character, though so far the story is all about your/his voice, and no possibility of change in him on the horizon yet. I’ll read on, though!~

  12. Nick

    Jodi, when you’re in a wheelchair you are stuck there thinking about stuff and…

    I have a sign over me that says “Push Me To Feel Good”.

    …that’s a good line, and so is this one…

    There is light. Bright, piercing and cathartic. But first I must wheel myself through the tunnel.

    …but you knew that the moment you wrote it.

  13. Cheers, Nick. You understand.

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