FYOR 3

Aug 31, 2009 by

Read FYOR 1 here

Read FYOR 2 here

Round 3 Challenge: Incorporate the death of a dog into your next passage. It should be no more than 400 words long.

Avitus The Visigoth spent two sleepless nights pondering the cryptic command delivered to him after his defeat by Ganesh The Kabalist: Mete out the punishment you deserve upon your loved one. How well he executed this command would determine whether he would be readmitted to Asphodel Fields or banished from it forever.

Although Avitus – Bob Landers in his lesser life – had suffered a disgraceful defeat, he knew it was also an opportunity. This was the first punishment The Unseen One had issued. Some even envied him. He was making history. His terrier, Frodo, sat at his feet, waggling his hind. Avitus tapped his thigh, calling him up. Frodo barked gleefully and leapt into his lap.

Mete out the punishment you deserve upon your loved one… After two days of reflection, Avitus settled upon his punishment. He had been hacked down in the mud swamps of Tartaria, a region of filth, pestilence, and disease. His soul needed cleansing.

Avitus looked at the clock and then walked to the kitchen, cradling Frodo. Doubts gripped him. He had to be strong, his faith unswerving as Abraham’s. He would not disappoint The Unseen One.

-I don’t expect you to understand this, he whispered to Frodo, but in my place you’d do the same.

In the kitchen, Avitus turned his laptop on and logged in to Asphodel Fields. Everyone was in attendance. All recognized this was an historic event. He started the teleconference and stood before the screen.

-I am Avitus The Visigoth and I am prepared to fulfill The Unseen One’s command.

He scooped Frodo up with one hand and held him before the screen.

-Frodo and I have lived together for the last 13 years. I love no one more.

He then shifted the screen so that it faced his front loader washing machine. Avitus stroked Frodo, then placed him in the drum, nails clicking on the dimpled steel. Frodo did not attempt to jump out, but he looked quizzically at Avitus.

Avitus locked the door. Frodo began to paw at the window and bark but it was barely audible behind the glass. Avitus kissed his fingers and pressed them to the glass.

-I’m doing this because I love you.

Then he pulled up a chair in front of the machine and pushed Start.

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11 Comments

  1. How to comment? Its intriguing, demanding of attention, but I am one that believes that shocking ideas, creations of the mind, memes, can be very destructive once seeded. This isn’t new but its damaging to human consciousness like those jokes you find funny but for all the wrong reasons.
    We need expand the Universal Mind with strength and joy not pollute it with waste.

  2. Wow. The jump of subject seems a little jarring. After re-reading the last two entries I am still jarred by this passage. The jump from the back story to this has put me off a bit.

  3. There is no denying this is shocking. However there is mass appeal for this sort of stuff … you only have to see what is constantly on our screens (well here in Australia we seem to be flooded with CSI spin offsf five nights a week) Whether we need this JD is certainly a question worth debating somewhere else. And is it a matter of the chicken egg conundrum. Personally I would prefer to invest my reading and viewing time on something more uplifting – though I have to admit to have a somewhat perverse fascination by the dark side of human behaviour and motivation.

    And I agreee in part with you Dan that there is a huge leap between scenes – however given the format delivery here I think it is acceptable. We know from round two he’s become The Unseen Lord in the virtual world – so it is not a complete nonsequitor.

    I am glad Fyor you got creative with Frodo’s death. I wasn’t sure if my stomach at 10am in the morning could cope with him slitting the doggies throat with a kitchen knife.

    I will certainly be interested to see how this dark, sinister piece of writing is received by all – via the polling results.

  4. Auggie

    so very e.a.poe black catish. well written and intriguing. i dont find it shocking when the topic requires doggie death. plus, you know the whole time what is going to happen.

    • With Poe (and I may be wrong here my experience relates to horror movies based on his work seen in the 60’s) the ‘evil’ elements relate far more to fantasy scenarios in fantasy lands where as, this is implementation of concepts of the mind into the real world. These can be very influential in the subsequent development of other minds and the evolving universal mind. Such influence, which is often denied but in reality is unavoidable, has significant effect on the subsequent course of evolution as influenced by the resulting universal mind. Tread with care and due consideration!

  5. I said shocking – not surprising and this is the only story where it is a premeditated murder of a much loved pet by its owner.

    I’m not apologetic for finding that, as a narrative arc, a little disturbing.

  6. Auggie

    poe’s ‘black cat’ is a short story about a man who gouges out his cat’s eye, i think with a fork. eventually he hangs his cat from a tree.
    i understand that one person’s actions have effects on another’s mind. but what is the universal mind that you speak of?

  7. Eros

    I am sorry but I didn’t see the dog going in to the front load washer, while he sat there and watched with his friends. That’s even darker then where I thought you were going. Love, Eros

  8. I really like this. I like that the tone is somewhat neutral and objective. It makes the scene even more harrowing and bizarre. I found it very unusual, and therefore quite fresh.

  9. Fyor, your “dark perversity,” to quote Annabones, will be missed. Please submit your farewell post as soon as possible.

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