Aug 8, 2009 by

Round 1: Write the opening sentence of your novella

Call me fido, cuz i’m the ultimate rover doggin’ the white whale, cuz I’m the red baron snoop rappin’ and fightin’ and writin’ on the kennel, cuz i’m the cujo messin’ with your pinto brain, cuz i’m the “who’s your doggy” dawg your mamma don’t want you to meet, cuz i’m the zombie raisin’ hell in doggone zomcom, cuz i’m the taco bell chihuahua who turned ren after too many jalapenos, cuz i’m scooby doo and dino rolled up into one fatty yabba dabba doobie, cuz i’m bo, yo, ‘from the doghouse to the whitehouse,’ cuz i can roll with cerberus or anubis, tartarus or cannabis, cuz i’m goofy and droopy, benji and lassie, beethoven and rin tin tin, cuz i’m the everyman, so call me what you want, just don’t call me pavlov’s dog.

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  1. Looks like you just might have an interesting way to tell your story. I’m in after reading this.

  2. Amazing opening! Very much looking forward to the rest of it. Hoping you’ll stay on for next round.

    PS: “[..] cuz Iā€™m the taco bell chihuahua who turned ren after too many jalapenos […]” – did you mean ‘red’ and not ‘ren’?

  3. word up, dan the man and anna banana!

    yo, A-bone, how about both! here’s the clarification for your PS: “cuz I’m the taco bell chihuahua who turned ren (& stimpy) after too many jalapenos”

  4. I thought that was a ren & stimpy ref….just one of the things that made me smile in this snippet.

  5. Of course, now I realize this… way over my head. There is a reason why they are writers and I am not šŸ˜‰

  6. Yeah! Great opening! I like the way you distribute adjectives to create some images! Looking forward to read more…

  7. right on, ivo olivo! i dig your name.

    yo a-bone, so you’re saying we’re writers and you’re not cuz of a ren & stimpy reference? damn girl, i didn’t know pen-pushers were supposed to be up on their nickelodeon!

  8. Had to look it up – Guess I’m on the wrong side of the Pacific!!
    But Wow! will the story line go on like that – a song maybe but …
    I’ll wait and find out.

  9. Wowing right back at you, JD! Your website is trippin’ me out! I don’t even wanna think about what 1plusinfinity means! Damn! Yeah, I’ll keep rollin’ with the storyline, or more like let that storyline keep rollin’ me, seein’ that ya’ll seem to dig it!

  10. You have woven the most intriguing references into this Fido … especially loved the references to cerberus and anubis. Awesome rhythm.

  11. word jodi! how bout that raging critique by my main man dan? he brought the fourth fiction house down! left me barkless, yo.

  12. Joan Begs

    It seems Fido takes it very, very serious or not serious at all… in any case keep walking in patois, please!

  13. damn yo, fido had a damocles letter opener hangin’ over his head the whole time! isis, it hurts to see you go. i dug your free tripped out astro-projecting spirit. feel like i should’ve sank with you down to that riverbed. anyway, you aint never gonna sink, i know that much. peace out, girl. (yo, host, is it just me trippin here or was that over the top there with the blessings and om shanti?).

    wag o’ the tail to y’all who kept me alive with your words. yo joan baezgs, i dug your comment. but it’s not an either/or situation like ol’ soren would have us believe. i take my not serious very, very seriously. maybe I gotta rethink my walkin’ in patois cuz it’s a minefield out there. hell though, if i go agrolect, i’m gonna go agro. damned if i go gently into that good night!

  14. noTxt

    heh* I just read through it again. I didn’t realize how many references I’d missed the first time – (I netflixed Fido) – maybe playing with capitalization? Dunno.

    Keep digging out the yard though. Good stuff.

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