COCO 3
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Round 3 Challenge: Incorporate the death of a dog into your next passage. It should be no more than 400 words long.
It is not a life you can live for long time. Since three years I’m coming to Cyprus. I’m not woman who came innocent when I landed first time in Paphos. I knew what was the life waiting for me. Most women now who come from Russia and Ukraine and Romania they know. But some still don’t know. Especially Philipinas. In there country someone tells them “you should go be dancer in Cyprus, its very nice, then after go work in Spain”.
Sometimes I wonder how stupid they can be to believe lies like that. But I also feel sorry because they come not knowing anybody and only way to pay back money for tickets and visa is to do sex. I know women who are watched all the time by cameras and even with binoculars if they go to beach. First time I came was like that for me. Some are even locked up inside and only let out for ten minutes to go to kiosk. I can tell you stories you wouldn’t believe.
Yes I choose this life, if you can choose when you have no other choices, but doesn’t mean I like it. Down road from cabaret in other way from sea there is a dog outside in rusty cage. I pass him when I go sometimes for walk. In Cyprus they keep dogs for hunting in cages like rabbits. This dog he always barks. Bark bark bark. So would I in horrible cage like that. But I like this dog very much and he likes me. I always feel little bit like him. I don’t like to feel bad for myself. I’m not in cage but to make metaphor maybe a little I am.
Then few days ago I see cage is empty. I think maybe owner took him hunting. But yesterday same thing, empty cage. I ask Yiannis and he say a neighbour poisoned dog because of barking.
When I hear that I know this is very bad sign. I always thought one day I will get out of this life. I say to myself Yes Ivana you can cut this part of your life out and throw away. Take it out like rotting bored in house and put in new one. But maybe you can’t. Maybe rotting bored stays there and rots everything else. Like poison.
My mobile is ringing. Its Stavros.
August 27th, 2009 at 6:00 am
Awesome stuff. Really enjoying this and Ivana is a really sympathetic voice for your story. The metaphor of the rotting board at the end is a great external image for an internal process. I am hooked.
August 27th, 2009 at 6:18 am
I love commenting after Dan because I just get to say “ditto the above.”
Ivana’s voice is strong and she is insightful. And there is a definite rhythm and pathos in your language and construction of your prose. Zero elimination votes for you in the last round was spot on the money.
Keep up the excellent writing.
August 27th, 2009 at 6:23 am
Coco, you’re growing strong! A big thumbs up from me. Ditto Dan and ditto Jodi
August 27th, 2009 at 8:34 am
I enjoy the chorus: ditto everybody above!
Ivana´s story caught me completely!
Can´t wait to read more!
August 27th, 2009 at 9:08 am
What surprise! You all make me too happy with all of your dittos
Thanks Dan for showing me its board not bored although you were too nice and didn’t correct me. Anyway I’m not shy so much any more about wrong spellings thanks to all you!
August 27th, 2009 at 9:17 am
Eufff! I mean what *a* surprise
August 28th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
Wonderful! чудесно! υπέροχοσ!kahanga-hanga! mukemmel!
August 29th, 2009 at 10:31 am
Thank you! Спасибо! ευχαριστο! Maraming salamat! teşekkür ederim!
August 29th, 2009 at 11:00 pm
This story reads so real and gritty, it’s fantastic. Keep it up. I can’t wait to read more.
August 30th, 2009 at 8:23 pm
I just have to say that I love that you have found your voice. Keep it up, this a great story that I think needs to be told. Love, Blackjack5555
September 1st, 2009 at 9:01 am
I want to tell the story because I have a chance here to. Some women, who will they tell it to? Man in cabaret? You wouldnt believe how many women in Cyprus live like this. Its like one huge floating cabaret in Meditteranean.
September 3rd, 2009 at 2:39 am
I am glad to hear this story from the view point of a woman that is going throw it. When we hear about this problem in the US, it is always told throw the voice of an uncaring male narrator, and it losses the force found in your story. The more this story is told the more it will help to lower the number of women that will have this happen to them. After rereading your work, I must say that I love your imagery. Love, Jack
September 3rd, 2009 at 12:11 am
blah blah blah. can someone put a bullet in my head now? i nominate coco for a vote.
September 3rd, 2009 at 4:30 am
If you’ve got nothing constructive to contribute Auggie why don’t you just go piss in your own corner.
September 3rd, 2009 at 11:48 am
Ni figa sebe! You want to put bullet in your head Auggy after reading what I write? I don’t know what to say to your blah blah blah except maybe hah hah hah because of what Jodi wrote.
Spasiba Jodi you are like superwoman today!
I’m happy you like this Jack. But who said I am woman going threw it? This is story. Maybe I am. Maybe not. I don’t know if writing this will lower number of woman it happens to. It is to much a part of the life here and in other places in Middle East. But maybe I should stop with my blah blah blah now…
September 3rd, 2009 at 12:01 pm
Sorry Coco I should have been more clear I was talking about the character, not you. For all I know you could be a nun that helps these women, or the man from the first line, that now feels bad for the evil that he has help to put into this character’s life. Love,Eros
Ps Sorry about the name change but maybe I won’t need to have Host approve my comments every time.
September 3rd, 2009 at 12:06 pm
Well, I just had to approve this one, so the change of name didn’t work. Maybe consider a new email address.
September 3rd, 2009 at 12:15 pm
Is that any better, new email 2. Love, Eros
September 3rd, 2009 at 12:25 pm
I didn’t have to approve this one, so you’re all set.
By the way, you do know that with that new name, Tuck is going to have a field day…
September 3rd, 2009 at 12:34 pm
I am sure that he will, I wouldn’t expect any less from him. But i do think it fits me better. My dad never wanted me to use that name any way, bad karma. Love, Eros
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:29 pm
This voice sounds genuinely Russian and I really, really loved the first sentence.
I am definitely wanting to read on. Can’t tell if the writer is really Russian, or just taking it a step further in the responses. Doesn’t matter to me, loving the story.
September 4th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
No not Russian. Ukrainian!!
September 12th, 2009 at 11:59 am
Prostitye, pozhaluista! Ukrainian, of course!